We’ve finished our five months in Asia, and it has been probably the most remarkable 5 months of our lives so far. What have we taken from it?
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Where Have We Been?
It seems sensible to start with this question. In What’s The Plan? we set out our intended route, and we did follow this vaguely, but with a few changes.
We flew into Bangkok, largely to save money and also to ease into travelling with a few days in a developed city. We traveled for a week through Cambodia, seeing the temples of Angkor and the capital city Pnomh Penh, and wished we’d allowed longer in this beautiful country. We got a bus to Ho Chi Minh City in Southern Vietnam and worked our way North, taking in mountains and beaches. We spent 11 days on the island of Cat Ba amongst the stunning islands of Lan Ha bay, before flying to Northern Thailand.
We’d hoped to spend time in Laos but had to skip it due to logistics, instead spending 10 days in the beautiful Thai city of Chiang Mai. We went South through Thailand, stopping again in Bangkok on our way to the island of Ko Tao where we learned to dive with our sister Sammy. From there we ditched our comforts en route to the climbing village of Tonsai, which kinda sucked.
We took busses South into Malaysia, sampling that diverse country before flying to Nepal for a month of trekking in the breathtaking Himalaya.
We flew back to the ultra-modern city-state of Singapore then having to skip Sumatra we went straight to Java, the land of volcanoes and a warm welcome. We finished our 5 months in the paradise of Bali and the Gili Islands.
Of course this was not a comprehensive tour of Asia, but a flying visit through South East Asia, with a hop over to Nepal in the middle. We wouldn’t pretend to have really travelled Asia, but that doesn’t taken anything away from our experience.
What Was It Like?
Varied! From languages to culture, food to friendliness, there was a broad spectrum across the places we travelled. In some cases these were separated by national boundaries, in other cases it was ethnic, religious or economic divides which separates the different experiences.
We’ve seen considerable poverty to great wealth, tiny rural villages to enormous Metropolises. Interestingly, although we would not consider ourselves religious, there was a huge correlation between how warmly we were welcomed and the strength of religious belief in an area. Whether Buddhism or Islam, areas where people had strong religious convictions and practices tended to be areas where, as white Western atheists, we were welcomed with the biggest smiles and the kindest hearts (though plenty of non-religious people were amazing too!)
We loved the food and the kindness of the Thai people, as in Cambodia where we shed tears for the pain of their recent past. The Vietnamese landscape was breathtaking, but of course Nepal has the Himaplayan trump card on scenery. Malaysia and Singapore were fascinating for their development and diversity, while the people of Java in Indonesia were incredibly welcoming and were surrounded by spectacular volcanoes. Bali and the Gili Islands were simply made for a holiday, with incredible scenery, a rich history and a welcoming population.
Breakfast in Cambodia and Vietnam was a chore…. Some other travellers asked whether we’d tried ‘Pho’… We never want to eat another bowl of noodle soup again. It isn’t bad, and actually I got quite used to it (Ness did not!), but was tedious. The Indonesian love for fried rice (Nasi Goreng) and fried noodles (Mie Goreng), both normally topped with a fried egg, became a real chore, as did Dal Bat (lentil sauce and rice) in Nepal. Meanwhile we have sent home a cookbook of Thai cuisine which we loved, and will be making Tibetan bread and Mango Sticky rice by the bucketload when we return.
While Asia was always planned to be the cheapest phase of our trip, even in that respect it was varied. We paid £25-30 a night for private hostel rooms Bangkok (Singapore would have crushed us had it not been for the kindness of a friend), while we spent just £5 a night to share a hut with mossies and cockroaches in Tonsai, or the same for a decent room in East Java…. we and even stayed for free in Nepali trekking lodges (conditional on having dinner there). Gili Teak resort was the most expensive at £33 a night, but that was our little treat 😀. The average was about £15 a night.
Toilets were the biggest difference, from our ‘his and hers’ style bathroom with a pond and fountains around the shower in Gili T, to filthy compost squat toilets in Nepalese lodges. One Nepali guide told us that we should do as the Nepalis do and enjoy the squat toilets… I ruminated that some things are just better than others, and a clean sit toilet is just better than a dirty squat toilet.
What Was Our Favourite Part?
Ben – it was a lot of work, it was hot, it was cold, it was dirty and it was basic, but our time trekking in the Himalaya was definitely my highlight. The scenery was so incredible, the mountaineering history all around us, the sense of journeying so enthralling, and the friendships so great… To me that overcame any hardship and it will be an experience I treasure forever.
Ness – I think our time spent in Bali and Gili T has been my favourite. We got some of the best culture in Asia mixed with some comforts of the Western world. We were so relaxed into travelling it made everything much easier, the unknown was no longer intimidating. Enjoying sharing every day with my best friend on the seemingly endless beaches with nature’s display of gorgeous sunsets was incredible, I don’t think you can get much better than that!
What Have We Learned?
Travelling is partly about fun, and partly about enriching our understanding of ourselves and the world. So what have we learned?
Please note that regardless of whether I use the first or second person, this isn’t us pretending to dole out advice, we are just talking about our own experience.
First and foremost, to chill out and sit back. Not as a personality trait or a moral standing, but in how we deal with moving through the world. Things just happen, fast or slow, organised or chaotic, honest or corrupt. We’ve learned to accept that we are just passengers on our journey and that is we try to control it too much or impose our expectations on it then it will just be hard work. We recall a jeep ride in Nepal, we were established backpackers and were sharing a ride with some Europeans who were on holiday. Their expectations of the punctuality, planning and honesty of the jeep drivers was far too high, and they got stressed without getting anywhere faster. We learned to chose what matters to us (not dying) and draw a red line under it, then let the rest just happen as it happens around us.
Good coffee solves most problems.
Good coffee can be hard to find.
Kindness doesn’t have to be uncommon, coldness to strangers isn’t the default everywhere. Coming from where we do, a random act of kindness towards a stranger is almost newsworthy, it is something that stands out. To make conversation on the London Underground would incite hatred if not riot. That doesn’t have to be the case… We found everywhere we went that people were routinely kind, friendly and helpful. Ben likes being friendly to strangers, a trait seen as weird in much of our own country but normal elsewhere. And of course family…when I explain to Asians that people are expected to reach adulthood, grow up, move out and find their own way in the world, I am met with a bemused look and questions of ‘why?’ The Western desire for independence from one’s family is an anomaly rather than the norm. All of this may seem obvious in a way, but to see it lived was different.
Also, contrary to much of what we heard, most people won’t try to scam you. A lot of things which sound too good to be true are actually true, because people are kind. Some things are scams, and you need to be careful, but we went out into the world with our guards far too high, and it took a while to realise that most people may lie a little to save face, but are ultimately trying to do the right thing.
If you do get scammed, provided you’ve not lost too much money, then treat it as a funny story and not something to worry about. These things happen, never let go of too much money, and just laugh at it.
Writing blog posts about the ‘car crash’ destinations is more fun than those that went ok.
Take a fat wallet. Asia is a cash society, and finding an ATM can be hard work (especially on an island in a week long typhoon). When denominations can get ridiculous (for example, 30,000 Vietnamese Dong to the pound) this can mean an awful lot of notes to shove in your pocket! We did not plan for this, nor did we do the sensible thing and buy a new wallet.
Asians don’t wear suncream, so buy lots before leaving home!!!
Always ask for it ‘not spicy’… A Thai person has a very different definition of ‘spicy’ to a Westerner! (Amusingly the Thai word for not spicy is ‘mai prik’)
We really don’t need much stuff to live comfortably.
The more time we spend together, the more we love each other.
We’re a very effective team. With our complimentary skills, we can handle most things.
Eat first, worry about food poisoning later. Getting ill sucks, but not as much as living in a bubble.
Ben has become better at doing nothing, and Ness has become better at early starts.
Finally…. to smile at everyone, keep hold of our phone and bank cards and don’t get killed, otherwise just enjoy the ride!
If you’ve enjoyed this post then you might enjoy others about our life on the road, take a look here!
